Luxury Unveiled: The Grand Plaza Hotel, Smouha, Alexandria
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving deep into Luxury Unveiled: The Grand Plaza Hotel in Alexandria. Forget your perfectly curated travel blogs; you're getting the raw, unfiltered truth, my friends. Let's be real, hotels are make-or-break. And this one? Well, let's find out, shall we?
First Impressions: Smouha & The Grand Plaza's Grand Entrance (and Slight Hiccups)
The Grand Plaza sits smack dab in Smouha, which, honestly, is a bit of a concrete jungle. But hey, Alexandria's got its own vibe, right? And the hotel? Well, the lobby is grand. Think shimmering chandeliers and a front desk that could probably handle a small army of check-ins at once. The check-in process itself was, ahem, a bit less smooth than I'd hoped. Something about the system being… quirky. No worries, I'm Patient Patty, right? Eventually, I was armed with a keycard and ready to see if the luxury lived up to the hype.
But before we get to the room, a quick shout-out for the accessibility stuff.
- Accessibility: Good news! The hotel seems to have really put some effort into this aspect, with elevators, accessible rooms (more on that later!), and ramps dotted around. I didn't personally need it, but seeing it made me feel good. Kudos, Grand Plaza!
- Wheelchair Accessible: Very well thought out.
- Access: Easy.
Room with a View (and Maybe a Few Minor Quibbles)
My room? Stunning. Seriously. High floor, a window that actually opens (a small victory!), and a view that, even over the concrete jungle, was sort of…inspiring. Let me be honest, the room had everything, so much so that after a while it was actually tiring. But, again, what a great experience.
Amenities, Amenities, Everywhere! (And a Few Missed Opportunities)
Internet – All the Flavors: Free Wi-Fi that actually worked! Praise be! And LAN access if you’re a dinosaur like me and still like a good, wired connection.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Okay, this is where the Grand Plaza really shines, or at least tries to.
- Spa & Sauna: Yes, please! The sauna was hot, the spa smelled divine. I even got a body wrap. It was glorious. I highly recommend booking a session, especially if you've had one of those days where the world just refuses to play by the rules.
- Swimming Pool & a View: The outdoor pool looked amazing. I only dipped my toes. But on a scorching Egyptian day, it was heaven. The pool view was stunning.
- Fitness Center: A pretty decent gym.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – A Culinary Adventure (with a few bumps in the road): Ah, the food!
- Restaurants, Restaurants, Everywhere: There were several restaurants. A la carte, buffet, Asian – the choices were overwhelming but great.
- Breakfast – The Buffet Battle: The breakfast buffet was a beast. International cuisine, and Western, Asian. Honestly, I kinda lost it. But it was good!
Cleanliness and Safety: They Seemed to be Trying: The hotel did seem to have the COVID situation under control.
- Daily Disinfection: I saw staff constantly cleaning. Peace of mind!
Services and Conveniences – A Mixed Bag:
- Concierge: The concierge was helpful, but sometimes seemed overwhelmed.
- Air Conditioning: Crucial in Alexandria!
- Business Facilities & Meetings: If you need to work while here, they seem well-equipped.
- Babysitting Service: Always good to know, even if I didn’t use it.
The Good, the Bad, and the Slightly Weird (and What Makes It Worth It)
- The Best Thing: The spa.
- The Imperfection: The odd system.
- The Quirk: The sheer size of the place.
- The Emotional Rollercoaster: Frustration. But then pure joy!
- The Opinionated Language: The place is great!
So, My Verdict?
The Grand Plaza Hotel is impressive. However, the check-in process left a weird taste. But once you're settled in and exploring the spa, swimming pool, and the food options, it is truly the grandest thing.
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Chiang Mai Family Villa Paradise: Kids' Fun & Luxury Await!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your sanitized, travel-brochure Alexandria guide. This is me, just back from a stay (sort of, technically, I checked out yesterday, but still processing) at the Grand Plaza Hotel Smouha. Consider this… my therapy couch, covered in Egyptian cotton sheets.
The Grand Plaza: A Grand Mess of Memories (and Questionable Wifi)
Day 1: Arrival & the "Magnificent" Balcony View (Spoiler: It Wasn't)
11:00 AM (ish): Arrive at Borg El Arab Airport. Okay, let's be honest, the drive in from the airport feels like an eternity. And the smell? A heady mix of exhaust fumes and… something I couldn't quite place. Was it spice? Dust? The ghosts of pharaohs? (Probably the dust.) Negotiating a taxi, which, by the way, is a sport in itself. I swear, they started trying to charge me triple the going rate the second I stepped out of the airport. Finally got a semi-decent price though, after some aggressive haggling (I channeled my inner market haggle master!).
1:00 PM (or thereabouts): Check in to the Grand Plaza. The lobby? Swanky. Giant chandeliers, marble everywhere. Feels like you're walking into a wedding (minus the bride… and champagne). Then get to the room. The Balcony. Oh, the balcony! The booking description promised "stunning city views!". The reality? A depressing vista of a half-finished building and a very active, and very vocal, pack of pigeons. My hopes for a romantic, sunset-drenched balcony experience evaporated faster than the ice in my lukewarm welcome drink.
2:00 PM: Lunch at the hotel restaurant. It was… fine. More buffet-style stuff. The bread! Oh, the bread was the only thing that was great. Carb loading, definitely. I think I ate a whole pile of bread rolls (I was already missing the bread I make back home.. which, by the way, is divine).
4:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Attempt to battle the hotel wifi. Honestly, the wifi was a war zone. It dropped more than my willpower on day three. I'd connect, and then poof! Gone. Forever. Updates on all my social media accounts? Forget about it. Working? Absolutely not. It was a digital detox, whether I wanted one or not! Good thing I was on vacation and I should relax (I failed).
6:00 PM: Decide to explore the hotel's "gym". Gym is in quotes. It was filled with outdated equipment… and a very bored-looking attendant. I bravely attempted the treadmill, only to discover it worked at one speed: fast. I think I actually saw my life flash before my eyes for a moment. Quickly retreated back to the room, and considered the possibility of ordering room service (I never did).
Day 2: Alexandria Adventures & the "Spicy" Seafood Scandal
9:00 AM: Finally conquering that wifi (briefly!). Researching Alexandria sights. The Catacombs of Kom El Shoqafa were at the top of my list. Apparently, they're amazing.
10:00 AM: Hail a taxi (the haggling skills were improving!). Off to Alexandria! The drive down the coastal road was amazing. The Mediterranean Sea was stunning. The city itself… well, it's alive, let's just say that. Traffic is a beast. I mean, I thought I knew traffic, until I saw Alexandria traffic. It's a ballet of near-accidents and constant honking. It was so intense I started to find it to be kind of mesmerizing.
11:30 AM: The Catacombs. Okay, they were amazing. Seriously, the carvings, the history… it was all a bit overwhelming. I got the feeling that I had stepped back in time.
1:00 PM: Lunch at "Fish Market" near the Corniche (recommended by, surprise, the front desk). The fish was… questionable. And by questionable, I mean it tasted… off. I'm pretty sure my stomach did a little flip-flop of disapproval. AND IT WAS SPICY. Like, burn-your-mouth-off spicy. Did I mention that I'm a wimp when it comes to spice? I’m still not sure if it was delicious or terrible (I was too busy trying not to cry from the spice to really decide). This would be my personal memory of the trip.
3:00 PM: Qaitbay Citadel. Beautiful. Powerful. The walls are so thick, it's as if the place is built to withstand invasions (which, I guess, it was). The history just seeps out of the place.
5:00 PM: Return to the Grand Plaza. Exhausted. Spicy seafood flashbacks beginning. That bread from the buffet starts to look tempting.
7:00 PM: Dinner at the hotel's main restaurant. I'm not eating fish, and definitely not spicy. I order something simple—grilled chicken (the safe option). Overly salted, but the water seemed good.
Day 3: The Pool, The Regret, and the Early Escape
9:00 AM: Decide to try the hotel pool. Sunbathing! Relaxation! That kind of idea. It's almost like I was there on some sort of vacation. The pool isn’t bad at all— it’s a nice way to wake up after a long day.
11:00 AM: Decide to make the most of a bad situation. I mean, I can't change it. So I decide to relax and read a book. (I did try, it didn't work out)
1:00 PM: The "Spicy Seafood" Incident. Need I say more? My stomach went on strike. Everything from the previous day was hitting me hard. The memories, the smell, the taste (or lack thereof), and the burning sensation.
3:00 PM: Checkout. The hotel staff seemed a little confused by my premature departure. I didn’t blame them.
- Me: "I need to leave. Now."
- Clerk: "But … your stay…"
- Me: "Believe me, there's a very good reason."
- I don't explain, I’m not feeling well, get me out of here.
- So I leave.
4:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Spend the afternoon recovering from the spicy seafood experience, and the overall Grand Plaza experience, on the ride back to the airport.
Final Thoughts (and a Plea for Better Wifi)
Would I recommend the Grand Plaza? Hmmm… Look, the staff was genuinely nice. The lobby is impressive. But the wifi was a crime against modern travel, the food was a gamble, and the balcony view was a letdown. My advice: adjust your expectations, pack your own wifi hotspot, and possibly bring your own emergency supply of Imodium.
On the bright side, I now have a story (and a slightly traumatized digestive system) to tell. And that, my friends, is a souvenir worth more than any postcard. So, yeah, I guess… go for it. Just be prepared for an adventure. A messy, imperfect, occasionally spicy, and hopefully memorable adventure.
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Luxury Unveiled: The Grand Plaza Hotel - Smouha, Alexandria - Or, My Slightly Chaotic Review!
Okay, so like, is this place *actually* luxurious? Because the word "luxury" gets thrown around a LOT.
Alright, settle in, because this is where things get…complicated. The Grand Plaza *says* "luxury," and yeah, they *try*. The lobby? Swoon-worthy, initially. Giant chandeliers, marble everywhere, the whole shebang. Reminds me of those old Hollywood movies, but with a slightly… less polished feel. You know, that feeling of "almost there, but not quite"?
I stayed there for a conference, and I’m telling you, the "luxury" fluctuated more than my blood sugar after a dessert buffet (which, by the way, the hotel *did* have, and we'll get to that later...). Some areas felt undeniably posh – the ballroom, the pool area (when it wasn't overrun with screaming kids, which, fair warning, is a thing). Other areas? Well, let's just say the elevator buttons looked like they’d seen better decades. So, to answer your question, definitively… it's a sliding scale. A good, solid 7/10 on the luxury-o-meter. With fluctuations.
The Rooms: Worth the Price? My Bank Account Weeps Just Thinking About It...
Ah, the rooms. Okay, look, I'll be honest. My first impression? "Wow, they've got a LOT of space." I think. You know, my luggage wasn't even in the room yet when I noticed the sheer acreage of empty space. It felt... lonely? Like the room was judging me (and my rapidly emptying wallet) for *not* being a wealthy sheikh with a retinue of servants.
The beds were comfy enough, the view of… well, Smouha, which isn't exactly the Amalfi Coast, but it was fine. The bathroom, though... that's where the cracks start to show. The shower pressure was weak. The complimentary toiletries? They looked suspiciously like generic hotel-brand stuff. Nothing to write home (or a travel blog, ahem) *about*. Now, would I pay full price for it again? Probably not. But if you can snag a deal? Go for it. Just bring your own good conditioner.
The Food: Did I Eat Like a King (or a Starving Student)?
Okay, the food. This is where things become *fascinating*. Buffet breakfasts? Yes, glorious, overflowing buffets. Crepes, eggs made to order, fresh fruit spilling out of bowls like a cornucopia… pure bliss. I ate so much, I nearly had to be rolled out of there. Then, the conference lunches were a bit… less inspiring. Dry chicken, lukewarm vegetables, the occasional mystery meat dish. You get the picture.
But the *dinners*? That's where they redeemed themselves. They had this Middle Eastern restaurant with a live oud player. The *mezze* were divine, the grilled meats were melt-in-your-mouth tender, and the atmosphere, finally, felt *luxury*. Seriously, the first night I was like, "Okay, yeah, *this* is what I came for." So… hit or miss. Depends on which meal you're talking about and the restaurant. And maybe your tolerance for questionable buffet cuisine.
The Staff: Are They Actually Helpful, or Just Pretending? (Because I've Got Trust Issues)
Okay, the staff... This is another area where the Grand Plaza really shines. They’re generally *very* friendly and accommodating. I'm not talking about that forced, robotic hotel-staff politeness; I'm talking about genuine smiles and willingness to help. I had a minor issue with my room key (typical, right?) and they fixed it immediately. Someone was always there to help carry my luggage, call a taxi, etc.
One day, I was wandering around, utterly lost, and a cleaning lady took it upon herself to guide me back to my room. She didn't even speak English, but somehow, she got the message across. It was incredibly sweet. So, thumbs up for the staff. They make a big difference. They actually make up for the lack of other things in the hotel!
The Pool: A Relaxing Oasis or a Preschool Playground? (Be Honest!)
The pool area... Oh, the pool area. It *looked* amazing. Picturesque, with those perfect turquoise waters... *in theory*. In reality? Picture this: a screaming horde of children, inflatable toys clogging every square inch of water, and the faint scent of chlorine mixed with... something else. Something… earthy.
I attempted to relax poolside one afternoon. Key word: "attempted." It was a losing battle. I ended up retreating back to my room, defeated, and ordered room service (which, by the way, was pretty good). If you're traveling kid-free, approach the pool with caution. If you have kids? They'll probably love it. Just bring earplugs. And maybe a hazmat suit. Okay, I’m exaggerating. A little.
Smouha: What's There to Do? (Besides Wonder Why You Chose Smouha?)
Smouha… Okay, look. Smouha is… *Smouha*. It's a very specific suburb of Alexandria. It's not exactly the tourist Mecca. I mean, there are some restaurants, some shops, some… well, it's mostly residential. You won't be tripping over historical sites or vibrant nightlife. You'll need a taxi to get to central Alexandria, which is definitely recommended for the actual sights and sounds.
This isn't really the hotel's fault, though. It's just the location. So, if you're looking for a quiet base from which to explore the city, away from the hustle and bustle of downtown, it could work. Otherwise, be prepared to embrace the… suburban charm. And maybe pack a really good book. Or two.
My Most Memorable Moment (Let's Get Personal!):
Here’s the thing that really sticks with me, more than the slightly-dodgy shower pressure or the questionable buffet sausages... one evening, I was stuck in the lobby during a down pour. I mean, it was *torrential*. And I was exhausted, slightly grumpy, and starving. And the power went out.
Chaos ensued. People were milling around, confused. The lobby, normally a symphony of gentle piano music, turned deathly silent. Then, one of the hotel staff, a young guy named Omar, grabbed a couple of candles, and, with the help of other staff members, lit up the lobby. He started telling jokes in Arabic,Findelicious Hotels
