Escape to Paradise: 87 Marineside Beachfront Haven in East Wittering!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into Escape to Paradise: 87 Marineside Beachfront Haven in East Wittering! – and let me tell you, it's a bit like a box of chocolates. You never quite know what you're gonna get. But hey, that's life, right? And sometimes, that's even better.
First off, the location itself…East Wittering. Honestly? Never heard of it. But that's part of the charm, isn't it? Getting away from the usual suspects. And the "beachfront haven" part? Solid promise, I'm already intrigued. Let's see if it delivers.
Accessibility: Alright, let's start with the nitty-gritty. Accessibility is listed…but not much detail. That's a bit of a shrug from me. Facilities for disabled guests? Listed, thank goodness. But again, how disabled? Ramps? Lifts? Detailed information is key here. This is a major consideration for many, so Paradise needs to step up. And while the Elevator is mentioned, I’d need more information on the specifics of accessibility to be sure.
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: This is crucial. Let's be honest, the whole "escape" thing falls flat if you can't actually get to the food and drinks. Hoping for some detailed descriptions here, because a beachfront location should make the most of stunning views with a good meal. Praying is more accurate.
Wheelchair accessible: Again, missing details. This is a huge point for many, and the lack of specifics worries me.
Internet Access: Praise the Wi-Fi gods! Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! – Yes! Internet [LAN] – hmm, slightly dated, but hey, maybe some folks prefer plugging in. Internet services are also mentioned. Good. Gotta stay connected (or, you know, try to disconnect, depending on your needs). Wi-Fi in public areas is another win – because nobody wants to be glued to their room ALL day.
Things to do & Ways to Relax (Oh, the good stuff!) This is where things start looking…well, paradisiacal.
- Body scrub & Body wrap: Hello, pampering!
- Fitness center & Gym/fitness: For those of us who like to sweat it out before lounging.
- Foot bath: Sounds divine!
- Massage: ALWAYS a yes.
- Pool with view: Swoon.
- Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom: I'm practically melting just thinking about it.
- Swimming pool & Swimming pool [outdoor]: Gotta have a place to splash around.
I love that there's a lot of opportunities to unwind here. The "escape" component starts to feel legit.
Now, the "extra mile" stuff.
Cleanliness and Safety (Important Stuff, Let's Be Real) Okay, deep breath. In today's world, this matters.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Excellent.
- First aid kit: Essential.
- Hand sanitizer: Yep.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Necessary.
- Hygiene certification: Okay, I'm listening.
- Individually-wrapped food options: Makes sense.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Good.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services: Necessary.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: I like this flexibility.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Good on them.
- Safe dining setup: Okay.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Good to hear.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Very good.
- Sterilizing equipment: Essential.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (Fueling the Escape!) Okay, the important stuff.
- A la carte in restaurant: A good start.
- Alternative meal arrangement: Helpful.
- Asian breakfast & Asian cuisine in restaurant: Ooh, options!
- Bar & Bottle of water: Necessary sustenance.
- Breakfast [buffet] & Breakfast service: Always a win (unless the buffet is a disaster).
- Coffee/tea in restaurant & Coffee shop: Caffeine fixes, yes please.
- Desserts in restaurant: Crucial.
- Happy hour: Definitely.
- International cuisine in restaurant & Poolside bar: Variety is key.
- Restaurants: Good.
- Room service [24-hour]: Yes. All the yes.
- Salad in restaurant & Snack bar & Soup in restaurant: More options.
- Vegetarian restaurant & Western breakfast & Western cuisine in restaurant: More options.
I’m getting hungry just reading this list. A good sign!
Services and Conveniences (That Make Life Easier)
- Air conditioning in public area: Essential, especially if the weather turns balmy.
- Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests (again!), Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center: Whew. Seems like they thought of everything!
For the Kids (Keeping the Little Ones Happy!)
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Good!
Access, Security, and the Nitty-Gritty (Making Sure You Can Relax)
- CCTV in common areas & CCTV outside property : Makes sense.
- Check-in/out [express] & Check-in/out [private]: Options are good.
- Couple's room: Nice touch.
- Exterior corridor: Mixed feelings here…but not a deal-breaker.
- Fire extinguisher & Front desk [24-hour]: Good.
- Hotel chain, Non-smoking rooms, Pets allowed (unavailable) : Makes sense.
- Proposal spot: Now that's romantic!
- Room decorations, Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms, Soundproof rooms: All good.
Getting Around (Getting to and from "Paradise")
- Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge] & Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking: Nice options.
Available in all rooms (What you'll find in your cozy corner!)
Alright, let's get into the rooms.
- Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock: Yes, nice.
- Bathrobes, Bathroom phone: Luxury!
- Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens.
Okay, this room set is impressive. High marks for me; they've thought of the essentials and then some.
My Overall Judgment: Making It Real
Okay, so "Escape to Paradise" has potential. Lots of it. The location promise is there, and the amenities are strong. The spa? Sign me up! The dining options look tasty. The rooms seem well-equipped.
The Imperfections…and the Potential Dealbreakers:
- Accessibility Detailing: I NEED MORE INFO HERE. This honestly worries me.
- "Pets allowed (unavailable)" A shame if you want to bring the furball.
- "Exterior Corridor": Might not be ideal in bad weather, but for coastal location…I am willing to overlook.
The Verdict… and a Compelling Offer (Finally!)
Escape to Paradise looks like a good destination. They needed to be more upfront when it comes to accessibility for sure, but other than that, I would be willing to give it a go!
**Here's My Compelling Offer
Jakarta Getaway: Luxurious 2BR Casa Grande Apartment Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to plot a beachside adventure at 87 Marineside, East Wittering, a property with "stunning sea views" (their words, not mine, though I'm hoping they're right). This isn't your sterile, pre-packaged itinerary. This is MY itinerary, warts and all. Prepare for rambling, indecision, and probably a whole lot of sand in inappropriate places.
The East Wittering Debacle: Operation Sea View (and Hopefully, Sanity)
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Groceries Gamble
Morning (10:00 AM): Arrive at 87 Marineside. The drive from London should take… well, according to Google Maps, around 2 hours. But let's be honest, add at least another hour for traffic, wrong turns, and me singing loudly off-key to the radio (probably ABBA, don't judge). Pray to the travel gods the "stunning sea views" live up to the hype. Expectations? Low. Hope? High.
(11:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Unpack, survey the damage (i.e., figure out the light switches, the TV, and whether they've got decent coffee). First impressions are crucial. Will the decor be "chic coastal" or "granny-chic-gone-wrong"? I’m preparing for the latter.
(12:00 PM - 1:00 PM): The Groceries Gamble: A perilous quest to find a decent supermarket. East Wittering has a Co-op, I believe, which could be alright… or they could be out of everything good, like good bread and decent cheese. Prepare for impulsive food purchases. I always buy too much. Always.
(1:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Lunch. Something quick and easy. Maybe a sandwich, a ready-made salad (which I’ll inevitably find disappointing), and that coffee I desperately need. Ideally, enjoyed with a view of something other than the inside of my eyelids.
(2:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Beach Reconnaissance. A bracing walk along the beach. Assess the sand quality (essential), the tide situation (important!), and the general vibe. Are there hordes of screaming children? Is the wind howling? Pray for tranquility, accept the chaos. I'll probably take a million photos.
(4:00 PM - 6:00 PM): The "Welcome to the Sea" Afternoon.
- The Sea's Embrace: I'm going to sit and just stare at the sea. Let the sea breeze mess up my hair, and think for a bit. Meditate? Maybe. Definitely stare.
- Slipping into the Sea: Hopefully, and if the weather permits, I'll go for a swim. I don't care how cold it is, I must touch the sea water.
(6:00 PM - 7:00 PM): Dinner Prep Debacle. Attempt to cook something vaguely palatable in the kitchen. This could be a disaster. I'm pretty good at burning things. Plan B: The local takeaway. Fish and chips? Probably.
(7:00 PM - Onward): Sunset Viewing (fingers crossed), Wine, and Netflix. Ideally, the sunset will be stunning, the wine will be palatable, and the Netflix won't buffer. This is the goal. This is my peace offering to the travel gods. And if it all falls apart, well, there's always more wine.
Day 2: Beach Adventures and Existential Seafood
- Morning (9:00 AM): Wake up. Hopefully with a slight touch of sunshine. And a vague recollection of where I left my phone.
- (9:30 AM - 11:00 AM): Beach walk. Coffee walk. Coffee with a view. Repeat yesterday's beach recon, feeling slightly less like a stranger. Maybe try not to trip over anything this time. Focus on the sea, on the vastness, on… well, on not thinking about work.
- (11:00 AM - 1:00 PM): The Coastal Path Conundrum. Explore the coastal path! Apparently, there are lovely walks to be had. Probably get lost. Definitely stop to admire the view and take a thousand more pictures, but I'll embrace the potential for wrong turns and the fresh sea air.
- (1:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Lunch. Pub grub? A sandwich on the beach? Make a decision, and stick to it, even if it's the wrong one.
- (2:00 PM - 4:00 PM): The Great Sea-Life Quest. I'm slightly obsessed with sea creatures. I am going to see if I can find any shells.
- (4:00 PM - 6:00 PM): The Local Fish and Chip Shop Extravaganza. I'm going to go to the very best fish and chip shop. It's a must. Because… well, because it has to be done, doesn't it?
- (6:00 PM - Onward): Another sunset (hopefully), more wine, and a good book. Or maybe I'll just stare at the wall. Who knows? The beauty of a holiday is the complete lack of structure, right? (Except for this structure I've just created. Doh!)
Day 3: Departure and the Post-Holiday Blues
- Morning (9:00 AM): A final breakfast with a sea view (hopefully). This is where I'll probably start to feel the melancholic pull of the impending return to reality.
- (10:00 AM - 11:00 AM): Pack. The most dreaded task of the entire trip. Always end up with more sand in the luggage than clothes.
- (11:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Final beach walk. Soak up the last of the sea air. Try not to cry.
- (12:00 PM): Depart 87 Marineside. Head back to London, probably stuck in traffic, already dreaming of my return.
Quirky Observations & Emotional Reactions:
- I fully expect to get sand everywhere. I'm talking in the car, in my shoes, possibly even in my hair for weeks afterwards. It's the price of coastal living, I reckon.
- I will undoubtedly spend an embarrassing amount of time staring at the sea. There's something about the vastness that just sucks you in. It's a problem, I know. But a good problem.
- I am terrible at relaxing. I'll probably be constantly checking my emails (despite swearing I won't), feeling guilty for not "doing" enough, and generally overthinking everything. But hey, at least I'm honest about it.
- The food will probably be underwhelming, but I'll force-feed myself a decent amount of salt.
- I'm already feeling a bit sad about leaving, and I haven't even arrived yet. That's the power of the sea, I guess.
The Imperfections:
- This itinerary is subject to change. Wildly.
- I will probably forget things. I'm a master of absentmindedness.
- The weather could be awful. But hopefully, it won't be. (Fingers crossed!)
- And let's be real, this will be a messy, imperfect trip, and that's precisely what makes it special.
- It will be a mixture of good and bad feelings.
There you have it. My East Wittering escape plan. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go pack my bags and brace myself for the inevitable chaos. Wish me luck! (And send wine.)
Luxury Awaits: Regal Hong Kong Hotel - Your Unforgettable Stay
So... What *IS* "Life Stuff" Anyway? I Kinda Feel Lost.
How Do I Even *Start* Doing "Life Stuff"? It Seems Overwhelming. Like, REALLY Overwhelming.
What About Money? I’m Broke. Like, Utterly, Fantastically Broke. Help!
Relationships! Ugh. How Do I Even *Deal* With Other Humans? They're Complicated.
My Mental Health Is a Disaster. Like, Total Meltdown Disaster. Any Advice?
Okay, I Need to Vent. The World is Awful. People... Are the Worst. (Sorry, but...)
What About... Failure? I Mess Up A LOT.
