Escape to Paradise: Stunning Beachfront Home in East Wittering!
Escape to Paradise: East Wittering - A Review That's Actually Honest (and Maybe a Bit Messy)
Okay, alright, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from a stay at "Escape to Paradise: Stunning Beachfront Home in East Wittering" and I'm ready to spill the tea. Forget those cookie-cutter reviews – this is the unfiltered, slightly-scatterbrained truth. And let me tell you, this place… it’s got its good bits, and it's got… well, let's just say it’s not perfect. But hey, what is, right?
First Impressions (and a Few Hiccups):
The name, "Escape to Paradise," promises a lot. And, I gotta say, pulling up to the house… it’s stunning. Right on the beach, waves practically lapping at the garden. Pure Instagram gold. The exterior is gorgeous, seriously. Beachy vibes, you know?
However. Getting there? That was an adventure. Used their offered car park [free of charge] which was a lifesaver! Finding the parking for the main house was slightly hidden, which was a little bit of a head-scratcher. And the check-in/out [private] was smooth as silk, which was really nice. They also had car power charging station.
Accessibility (Let's Get Real):
This is where things got a little… dicey. While they list facilities for disabled guests, I'm not gonna lie, it didn't feel completely accessible to me. There wasn't a clear indication for the accessibility. So, might be worth confirming before you book, especially if you have any mobility limitations.
Inside the Fortress of Bliss (or Not):
Okay, so the non-smoking rooms were a huge win for this smoker, but let's talk about the rooms sanitized between stays. This meant I could have peace of mind. The air was fresh and felt good; a good sign. I loved the air conditioning and the blackout curtains are everything. Got that perfect shade. I did get a complimentary tea from the coffee/tea maker for my first morning.
And the free Wi-Fi? Gold. Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Wi-Fi [free] - I could work, catch up on social media, and stream movies. They also have laptop workspace. I can stay entertained and productive.
The additional toilet was something that I loved. It's the little things people and I was glad for it. And the separate shower/bathtub was heavenly, especially after that long drive. The slippers and bathrobes, nice touch!
Food, glorious food? (…and the occasional disappointment):
Alright, food. This is where I had some ups and downs. Let’s start with the breakfast service – they offer breakfast in room and a breakfast takeaway service. I actually took advantage of the breakfast [buffet] option one morning. It was pretty standard, with Asian breakfast, Western breakfast. They include Coffee/tea in restaurant
They seem to have a lot of variety. The restaurants are there and offer Western cuisine in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax (The Good Stuff):
This is where "Paradise" starts to live up to its name. The beach, obviously, is the main draw. Sunbathing, swimming (if you're brave!), long walks. Heavenly. But beyond that? They have a fitness center… which, full disclosure, I didn't use. I blame the giant slice of cake I ate at the beachside cafe. (More on that later).
They have a spa and spa/sauna, but I never made my way over there Body scrub, Body wrap, sauna, steamroom, Massage, there's a lot of choice.
Cleanliness & Safety (Feeling Secure):
Okay, this is where "Escape to Paradise" really shines. Daily disinfection in common areas, Rooms sanitized between stays, Anti-viral cleaning products, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment – they take this seriously. You could feel the effort. I even got a look into the sanitizing operations of the kitchen.
The Quirky Bits & Anecdotes:
Okay, let's talk about that cake. I stumbled upon this adorable little beachside cafe. Best. Cake. Ever. Seriously. Desserts in restaurant. It was one of those moments where you just forget everything else and live in the moment.
And another thing, that terrace? Perfect for a late-night glass of… whatever you’re into. Starry nights, the sound of the waves… pure bliss.
For the Kids (Or, You Know, Adults Who Like Fun):
They have babysitting service, kids facilities, kids meal. I don’t have kids, so I can’t personally vouch for how good it is, but it feels like they’ve put some serious thought into family-friendliness.
The "Needs Improvement" Areas:
- Information: The website could be a bit more detailed, especially regarding accessibility.
- Dining: While the food options are good, the "vibe" of the restaurant area could be a bit more exciting. Poolside bar.
My Verdict:
Okay, here's the deal. "Escape to Paradise" isn't perfect. It's got a few rough edges. But the good massively outweighs the bad. The location is unbeatable. The staff is lovely. The safety protocols are reassuring. And that cake? Still dreaming about it.
Would I go back? Absolutely. Especially if I need a serious dose of seaside relaxation. I'd just double-check the accessibility situation beforehand.
SEO-Juiced Final Thoughts:
Escape to Paradise East Wittering Review: A stunning beachfront home offering breathtaking views & relaxing spa experiences. Perfect for couples, families, and anyone seeking a getaway. Offering a variety of ways to relax, body scrub, body wrap, fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]. Enjoy free Wi-Fi, air conditioning, and a range of dining options including Asian cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant, and International cuisine in restaurant, and a bar. Featuring top-notch cleanliness and safety measures, including daily disinfection, anti-viral cleaning products, and professional sanitizing services. Book your escape today for a truly unforgettable experience! (And here’s a little bonus for the booking conversion….)
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Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Dahab Hotel Awaits!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because you're about to embark on a virtual trip to the gloriously, sometimes-disappointingly, real world of a seaside stay at No. 28 in East Wittering. Expect sand in your shoes, salty hair, and a healthy dose of chaotic charm. This ain't no pristine Pinterest board, folks… this is life.
The No. 28, East Wittering, UK Fiasco (and Hopefully, a Few Wins): A Hot Mess Itinerary
Day 1: Arrival & Beach Bliss (Attempt 1)
- 14:00 - The Great Unpacking Commence: Arrive at No. 28. Oh. My. GOD. The view! (Cue a dramatic swoon. I might actually cry a little. happy tears) Luggage, the enemy of all holidays, is immediately tossed inside. Let’s be honest, I’ve probably brought far too much, but, hey, a girl needs options, right? Found the keys, thankfully. Remember that time I locked myself out of my own bloody house? Yeah… shudders. Anyway, the place is brighter than the pictures, a good start! Except… is that a damp patch on the ceiling? Ugh, England.
- 14:30 - A Sandwich and a Sudden Realization: Quick lunch: pre-made supermarket sandwiches (turkey and stuffing, because why not?) and a desperate attempt to find the kettle. Seriously, where are the bloody mugs? Found them! Realised I forgot the tea bags. Face palm. Note to self: Next time, bring everything. And a sense of calm, maybe?
- 15:00 - Beach Assault! (or, Walk, Maybe): Armed with my favourite book, Bridget Jones’s Diary, and a sense of overwhelming optimism, I head down to the beach. It looks stunning. Turns out, the wind is a beast. My carefully coiffed hair now resembles a bird’s nest. The book flaps wildly, I’m pretty sure I’ve swallowed actual grit, and I can only manage to read a single paragraph. Fine. Sigh. Sat on the sand and stared blankly at the sea and felt overwhelmed and then relaxed. Felt a weird kind of peace, finally.
- 17:00 - The Sunset That Almost Didn’t Happen: Back up at the property, I collapse on the sofa. Suddenly, I'm starving. Also, the fridge is disappointingly empty. Contemplate ordering a takeaway. The sun starts to set. OMG. RUN! Actually, a sunset is worth the effort. Damn, that's gorgeous. I can't help but sigh.
- 19:00 - Takeaway Triumph (and Slight Regret): Ordered fish and chips. Classic, right? Delivered! Finally. Ate them ALL. Maybe the portions where a bit too big? Feeling full, and a bit ill. Staring at the sea, thinking about my life.
Day 2: Nautical Nonsense & Unexpected Delights
- 08:00 - The Great Awake: Groggily surface after a night of fitful sleep thanks to the noisy gulls and the slightly creaky mattress. (Note to property owner: Invest in a decent mattress, please!) Decided to skip breakfast - feeling sick from the takeaway.
- 09:00 - Attempting to Get My Act Together: Coffee, finally. Realized I brought a French Press but no ground coffee. This is a pattern – planning, followed by a catastrophic memory meltdown. Sigh. Went for a walk to the local shop. Felt a bit ashamed, seeing I'd forgotten the coffee, and the milk.
- 10:00 - Beach: Round Two (with less wind, hopefully): The sea is gorgeous today! The tide is out, revealing tide pools filled with tiny crabs. Managed to build a pathetic sandcastle (it was a castle, dammit!) before the tide claimed it. A toddler gleefully destroyed it. That was satisfying.
- 12:00 - The Great Fish Market Caper: A wild goose chase to find a local fish market (I'd heard rumours of delicious seafood). Ended up in Chichester, slightly lost and in a state of utter hangry-ness. Found a lovely (a bit posh) little place. Bought some delicious prawns. Smug.
- 14:00 - Nap Time (and a Little Bit of Melodrama): Back at the property, I fall into a deep, glorious, utterly necessary nap. Dreamt of giant prawns and a world where I don't forget to buy essential ingredients. Decided I'm getting old.
- 17:00 - A Sunset for the Ages: The sunset is even better than yesterday. The sky is on fire. Sat on the balcony with a glass of wine (that I managed to remember to buy!) and just. Breathed. Truly, completely, breathtaking.
- 19:00 - Prawns! (and a dose of self-pity): Cooked the prawns. Delicious! Ate them all. Alone. Is it weird to eat dinner on my own? Feel a pang of loneliness. Decide to watch rom-com. Feeling better.
Day 3: Farewell, For Now (Possibly with a Few Regrets)
- 09:00 - The Bitter-Sweet Goodbye: Awake, and start packing. Realise I haven't actually looked at the sea for ages because of the internal dramas. Stare out. Sigh.
- 10:00 - Last Beach Stroll (Attempt 3): One more walk on the beach. Feel the sand between my toes one last time. Collect a shell. Promise myself I will come back.
- 11:00 - The Departure: Load the car. Check. Double-check. Triple-check. Did I leave anything? Hope not. Feel a pang of sadness as I drive away.
- 12:00 - Reflection (and a bit of a plan): Driving home. Think, I'll definitely come back here. Maybe I’ll come back with a friend! Or, at the very least, a decent coffee supply. Consider writing a letter to the damp patch on the ceiling, thanking it for adding a certain "character" to the place. Plan ahead!
This trip wasn't perfect - far from it! - but that’s life, isn’t it? It was an absolute mess, a beautiful mess. A reminder that even a beachside property, with its sea views, is just a backdrop for the real story: you, the messy, imperfect, gloriously human you, doing your best. And sometimes, in the face of wind-ravaged hair and forgotten coffee and the occasional damp patch, that’s more than enough.
Escape to Paradise: Mérida's Hidden Gem, Piedra de Agua Hotel Boutique
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