Escape to Paradise: Unbelievable Bali Luxury at New Lumbung Bali Resort
Escape to Paradise: Unbelievable Bali Luxury at New Lumbung Bali Resort - Okay, Let's Get Real!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the tea on the New Lumbung Bali Resort. Forget those perfectly curated Instagram posts, because I'm diving in with both feet, warts and all. This isn't just a review; it's a travel buddy's dispatches from the front lines of Bali luxury, and let me tell you, it’s been a journey.
First things first: Accessibility - A mixed bag, but hopeful!
Okay, let's get the practicalities sorted before we swoon over the infinity pool. Accessibility is… well, it’s a work in progress. While they say they've got facilities for disabled guests, I didn’t see a super detailed breakdown. Definitely contact them directly to clarify specific needs. There’s an elevator, which is a big plus, and wheelchair accessibility might be in some areas (again, call ahead!). They're trying, bless their little Balinese hearts.
And the Internet? Thank the Gods! - Staying Connected in Paradise!
Oh, glorious Wi-Fi! They boast of Free Wi-Fi in all rooms and Wi-Fi in public areas. And you know what? It mostly worked! Mostly. There were a few moments of buffering agony while trying to video-call the folks back home, but hey, you're in Bali, so maybe it's time to disconnect a little, yeah? They also have Internet [LAN] and Internet services, so if you really need a super secure connection, you have options. (And the Internet itself is pretty decent.)
Rooms: Your Personal Oasis - Ah… the smell of fresh sheets….
Okay, the rooms. Wow. The Air conditioning is a GODSEND. Seriously, Bali heat is no joke, and the second you step inside, it's pure bliss. They've got all the essentials: a Desk for those work emergencies (though let's be honest, you'll mostly be using it for your laptop workspace for browsing the photos), a Mini bar stocked with tempting goodies (resist the urge to eat everything!), a Coffee/tea maker to kickstart your day, and a Refrigerator for those Bintang beers. Blackout curtains = a sleep-in dream. I loved the Bathrobes especially.
I will say, the bathroom situation was… interesting. You can have separate shower/bathtub, which is nice, but the additional toilet (if your room has it) is a real luxury. And let’s not forget the practical stuff: Hair dryer, Ironing facilities (because, hello, wrinkles!), a Laptop workspace (again…), Mirror, Slippers, and Toiletries. Plus, the Wake-up service worked like a charm, so you don't miss your massage.
The Cleanliness and Safety – Are we totally safe?
Okay, this is the big one for paranoid me. Cleanliness and safety. Anti-viral cleaning products and professional-grade sanitizing services are a must these days, right? They claim to use them, and the place felt clean. They have Rooms sanitized between stays, and if you want, a Room sanitization opt-out available. I saw Hand sanitizer everywhere. Okay, I'll give them a B+ for this one. I didn’t get sick, and that’s the main thing! They also claim to take Daily disinfection in common areas, which is reassuring. Staff trained in safety protocol, nice. First aid kit, check. Doctor/nurse on call, which is fantastic.
Dining, Drinking & Snacking – Feed Me!
Alright, let’s talk food, because, well, Bali. The restaurants are plentiful! They have Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, and a Vegetarian restaurant that I will be visiting. There's a Coffee shop, a Snack bar, and a Poolside bar (essential!). Breakfast? Breakfast [buffet], Asian breakfast, Western breakfast, a Breakfast service so you get what you need. You can even get Breakfast in room if you're feeling lazy (guilty!). My tip? Get the Nasi Goreng – it's freaking amazing!
- A la carte in restaurant to customize your experience.
- Alternative meal arrangement– helpful if you have dietary restrictions.
- Bottle of water at your service.
- Happy hour: Because, Bali.
- Restaurants are a plenty.
- Room service [24-hour] – your midnight cravings answered.
- Salad in restaurant, a nice option for a healthy meal.
- Soup in restaurant, can't be wrong with a classic.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax – Pure Bliss!
This is where New Lumbung REALLY shines. Let’s start with the relaxing stuff:
- Body scrub. Let's face it, Balinese massage is divine.
- Body wrap for extra indulgence.
- Foot bath - A good way to relax.
- Gym/fitness for exercise lovers.
- Massage!! You have to get a massage. Seriously. Book one NOW.
- Pool with view - Simply breathtaking.
- Sauna - Nice and warm.
- Spa - Indulge yourself.
- Spa/sauna - Your body will love you.
- Steamroom- So nice and refreshing.
- Swimming pool - Multiple options, always a good thing.
- Swimming pool [outdoor] - the center of the hotel.
My Experience: Obsessing over the Pool (and the Mango Smoothies!)
Okay, I'm going to gush for a sec. That Swimming pool [outdoor]? The one with the Pool with a view? Absolutely breathtaking (and Instagram-worthy!). I spent hours just floating, gazing at the view, and sipping on mango smoothies (the smoothies are to die for. Get one, seriously). One day, I just couldn't make myself do anything. I spent half a day in the Sauna. My skin felt like silk. And the sunset? Unforgettable.
Services and Conveniences – They Think of Everything (Mostly!)
Okay, here’s the practical stuff. They have Air conditioning in public area, which is a godsend. Concierge services, which is great for booking tours or getting recommendations. There’s a Convenience store because you will forget something. Daily housekeeping, Laundry service, and Dry cleaning, so you can look your best. They even have a Gift/souvenir shop – perfect for those last-minute presents. Luggage storage, so you don’t have to lug your bags around. Safety deposit boxes, a must-have. And the Car park [free of charge] is awesome.
For the Kids - Family Friendly?
They claim to be Family/child friendly and offer a Babysitting service.
Getting Around – It's Easy Peasy!
Airport transfer is available, so you get to the hotel stress-free. They also have Car park [on-site] (free). Car park [free of charge] as well. If you decide to explore, they have Taxi service and Valet parking.
Final Verdict: This is Paradise (Almost!)
Overall, New Lumbung Bali Resort is a winner! It's not perfect, but it's a darned good time. The pros – the stunning pool, the relaxing spa, the delicious food, and the lovely staff – far outweigh the cons. It's a place to truly escape – to unwind, to recharge, and to just be. Just make sure to double-check accessibility needs and come prepared to completely relax!
My Offer for the ultimate Bali getaway!
Ready to Escape to Paradise? Book your stay at the New Lumbung Bali Resort NOW!
Here’s what you get:
- Unforgettable Luxury: Experience the ultimate Bali escape with stunning rooms, personalized service, and all the amenities you could wish for!
- Relaxation Nirvana: Immerse yourself in the beauty of the resort with a fantastic pool, a soothing spa, and various relaxing spots.
- Culinary Delights: Savor the flavors of Bali with a wide array of dining options, from local Indonesian dishes to international favorites.
- Safe and sanitized stay: Enjoy peace of mind with top-notch cleanliness protocols and safety measures in place.
- Convenient Location: Enjoy easy access to Bali's top attractions and explore this tropical paradise.
Don’t wait! Book your escape today and experience the magic of Bali!
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Tangerang Getaway: Luxurious Comfy Studio Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because here's my attempt at a "travel itinerary" for New Lumbung Bali Resort – a place I’m sure someone thinks is amazing, but let’s be real, it's all about the rollercoaster of my experience. Prepare for a messy, honest, and probably slightly neurotic stream of consciousness. Consider this your digital diary entry, complete with questionable life choices and a severe caffeine deficiency.
The New Lumbung Bali Resort: Attempted Itinerary (or, How Not to Vacation Properly)
Pre-Arrival - The "Planning" Phase (aka Desperation)
- Weeks Before: Obsessively scour Instagram. Look for perfect sunsets, flawless beaches, and people who genuinely seem thrilled about their Balinese tans. Secretly hate everyone. Convince myself I'm going to become a yoga goddess, fluent in Indonesian, and befriend a monkey. (Spoiler alert: none of that happened).
- Days Before: Pack. Overpack. Panic. Realize I have approximately 40 pairs of shoes, zero appropriate swimwear. Curse the internet for making me feel inadequate about my beach body. Drink too much coffee.
- The Flight: Traumatic, no sugarcoating it. Economy class is my nemesis. Stalk the flight attendants, hoping they'll sneak me an extra blanket. Cry a little when the person next to me starts snoring before the take-off. Vow to invest in noise-canceling headphones (or at least stronger earplugs).
Day 1: Arrival – Paradise? (More Like Overwhelming Sensory Assault)
- Morning (ish): Arrive at Ngurah Rai International Airport. The heat hits you like a brick wall. Immigration? A chaotic ballet of sweating officials and stressed tourists. Finally, through! Grab a pre-booked airport transfer. The driver is a legend, casually navigating the insane traffic while singing along to some Balinese pop music. I instantly feel like I love him.
- Mid-Morning: Arrive at New Lumbung Bali Resort. It… looks nice. The lobby is all polished wood and frangipani scents. Check in. The receptionist is smiley, but I'm too delirious from the flight and traffic to actually process any of her instructions.
- Afternoon: Stumble into my room. It's… okay. The air conditioning is fighting a losing battle against the tropical heat. The bed looks deceptively inviting. Immediately succumb to a nap. Wake up, confused about the time, and covered in a thin layer of sweat.
- Late Afternoon: Explore the resort. Discover the pool. It’s crowded. The cocktails are overpriced. Decide I'm not a "pool person" after all. Wander back to my room, feeling slightly disappointed.
- Evening: Dinner at the resort restaurant. The food is fine. The presentation is elaborate. The mosquitoes are merciless. Devour a plate of Nasi Goreng and spend the entire meal swatting. Wonder if this is “paradise.” Question all life choices. Attempt to take a selfie with the sunset. Fail miserably.
Day 2: Cultural Immersion (or, Accidentally Becoming a Cheapskate)
- Morning: Wake up feeling… less jet-lagged. Decide to be adventurous. Attempt to book a taxi to go to Uluwatu Temple. After getting quoted insane prices from the resort, I venture out onto the main road and wave down a Bluebird Taxi. Success! Feeling smug.
- Mid-Morning: Uluwatu Temple. Wow. The views are incredible. The temple itself is stunning. Experience immense joy. Get harassed by monkeys. Lose a sunglass. Vow to be more vigilant. Take way too many photos, mostly to prove I actually did it.
- Afternoon: Lunch at a warung (small local restaurant). Order something I can't pronounce. It's delicious and cheap. Discover a love for Balinese food. Feel elated.
- Late Afternoon: Return to the resort. Regret not buying more souvenirs. Experience extreme exhaustion from walking. Decide to treat myself to a massage. Request the "relaxing" massage. Regret it almost immediately when the masseuse starts kneeding with the strength of a thousand suns. Realize I have a body like a bag of rocks.
- Evening: Attempt to watch the sunset at the beach. Fail. Get bombarded by aggressive vendors. Retreat back to my room and order room service. Contemplate the meaning of life. Decide the answer involves more sleep and fewer sunburns.
Day 3: The Beach… and a Complete Meltdown
- Morning: Wake up, feeling optimistic! This time, I will have the perfect beach day. Armed with sunscreen, a hat, and a ridiculously oversized beach bag, I head to the resort's private beach.
- Mid-Morning: The beach is… full of people. And the sand is, to be honest, a bit gritty, and really hot. Attempt to find a spot. Struggle to set up my umbrella. Get sand in everything. Feel my initial optimism start to crumble.
- Late Morning: Decide to go for a swim. The waves are surprisingly strong. Get pounded by a rogue wave. Swallow a mouthful of seawater. Panic slightly. Regain composure.
- Lunchtime: Hungry and salty, I make my way back to the resort for lunch.
- Afternoon: The aftermath. The beach. The sand. The water. The sun. The PEOPLE. It’s too much. I go back to my room and have a complete meltdown. Cry. Watch trashy TV. Vow never to go to the beach again.
- Evening: Force myself out of my room for dinner. The restaurant is empty. Start talking to the waiter. Turns out, he lived in my hometown! What are the chances? Spend the evening chatting and feeling a little less alone.
Days 4-7: The Blurred Line of Existence
- Day 4: Sleep in. Eat breakfast at the resort. Get sick. Order room service. Watch Netflix . Try (and fail) to do some yoga. The heat almost wins.
- Day 5 - 7: Repeat the cycle. Some days are a blur of pool-side relaxation, others involve minor excursions to the local shops, which mostly end in me getting lost. There were also moments of genuine connection with the local people, especially the woman who ran the tiny warung across the road and taught me to make the best coffee. Attempt to learn a few words of Indonesian. Fail spectacularly. Consume an embarrassing amount of Bintang beer. Wonder if I will ever go home. Question every decision.
Beyond the Resort (The "Maybe Next Time" Section):
- Things I Was Supposed to Do But Didn't: Visit Tanah Lot Temple (too many crowds). Take a cooking class (too lazy). Learn to surf (too scared).
- Things I REALLY Regretted Not Doing: Exploring more of the local culture. Getting away from the resort bubbles more.
Departure – The Aftermath (aka The "It's Over, but is it Really Over?")
- Last Day: Check out. The hotel staff is super nice. I feel sad to leave. The airport is a repeat of the arrival. Make it through with minimal trauma.
- The Flight Home: Reflect on the trip. It wasn't perfect. It was messy. It was exhausting. But, there were also moments of pure joy, unexpected connection, and delicious food.
- Back Home: Unpack. Sort through photos. Realize I have a tan line that goes all the way up to my ears. Begin planning my next trip. Already missing Bali. Already stressed about planning the next one.
Final Thoughts (aka, My Personal Rating System):
New Lumbung Bali Resort: Probably fine. Too much of a resort for me, personally. But, the staff was great, and the air conditioning worked in my room some of the time.
Bali: Overwhelming, beautiful, chaotic, and magical. Would go back.
Me: Still figuring it out.
Escape to Milton Keynes: Rosemullion House Awaits (Free Parking!)
Okay, so...What *is* this thing anyway? This whole FAQ thing?
Ugh, fine. Let's get the basics out of the way. Basically, these are the questions *you* should have asked, but probably didn't because, let's be honest, most of us just click "I Agree" without even *reading* what it means. (Guilty! đŸ™‹♀️) So, I'm here to fill in the blanks. Think of it as a digital catch-up session with your slightly-unhinged, but well-meaning, internet auntie. Ready? Good. Let's go.
Why are *you* the one answering them? Are you qualified? (Be honest!)
Qualified? Ha! Honey, the only qualification I possess right now is a caffeine-fueled desire to rant. But hey, do *you* know more? Didn't think so. I’ve got… well, Google. And a healthy dose of cynicism. And that, my friend, is often all you need in this crazy world. So yeah, I’m probably as qualified as anyone else. Plus, I'm way more entertaining than some boring corporate drone. (Unless you think I am.)
What exactly *is* it that we're dealing with here? What's the subject?
Alright, alright, I'll spill. Let's pretend we're talking about... (And let's go with something super relatable to... well, life. Let's say, *Dealing with a Really Bad Breakup*). Think of it like that. You're reading this because... something's gone sideways. Or maybe you're just nosy! No judgement. (Okay, maybe a little.) Just imagine it's about *that* thing. The thing that's got you staring at the ceiling at 3 AM wondering why the world is so darn *unfair*. Yeah. That's what we're talking about.
Oh God. I'm so lost. Where do I even *begin* with this whole thing? (Like, the breakup thing. Not this FAQ! Although, that's fair too.)
Begin? Oh honey, the beginning's the worst. It's like wading through mud. First, let the rage fester. Let it. Scream into a pillow. Blast angry breakup anthems until your ears bleed. Cry until your eyeballs feel like they're going to pop out. Embrace the melodrama! (Look, it's way better than pretending you're fine. Believe me.) I had a breakup once where I literally ate an entire tub of ice cream in sitting. Triple chocolate fudge, naturally. Then I woke up the next morning in my clothes, covered in crumbs, and feeling *worse*. But hey, stages. You gotta get through them.
I… I just keep replaying everything in my head. Is that normal? Ugh.
Totally normal. Like, the most normal thing in the world! It's that awful mental movie you can't turn off. The one where you analyze *every single text message* and *every awkward conversation*. Shoulda, woulda, coulda...blah, blah, blah. That's the breakup brain in full swing. The best advice? Force yourself to find *any* distraction. Go for a walk (even if you feel like your legs are made of lead). Binge-watch something ridiculously silly. Call a friend you haven't spoken to in ages. Anything that keeps the tape from rewinding. (I once spent an entire afternoon building a fort in my living room. It didn't solve the problem but it *was* a distraction).
Okay, the Ex. How much contact? Zero? Is that even possible? Ugh again.
Zero is the *goal*, darling. Ideally. Unless you have kids, a shared mortgage, or exist in some bizarre, ultra-civilized society. In the real world? NO CONTACT. Especially if you're dying to reach out. It’s like an addiction. Don't give in. It's so tempting to text, to call, to stalk their social media... but don’t. You're worth more than that. I know it's hard. I've done it. I've broken my own "no contact" rule and regretted it every single time. Every. Freaking. Time. Learn from my mistakes! (Or don't, and we'll go through this together. Again.)
But... I miss them so much! What if I screwed up?
Okay, this is where the "maybe you screwed up" part creeps in. Yes, it's possible. Life is messy. *We're* messy. But listen: dwelling on "what ifs" is a black hole. It sucks the joy right out of you. You'll go in circles, replaying conversations. If it's truly a massive regret, maybe, *maybe* consider whether there's a possibility of reconciliation… but and it's a big but - only AFTER you've healed, and truly assess what's really going on and what needs changing. If there are any red flags that made you dump in the first place, I'm going to call you an idiot if you call back. Sorry, not sorry.
But honestly? More often than not? You didn't screw up. They did. Or *you* both did. And sometimes, that's just the way it goes. Sometimes, people aren't meant to last.
I need to feel something other than this overwhelming sadness! What do I DO?
Okay, let's get some emotions going. Firstly, the sadness is okay. It's like a big cleansing rain. Let it do it's work. Then, try anger. Pure, unadulterated rage. Smash something (safely!). Scream into the void. Or, y'know, let yourself laugh at something silly. Watch a terrible rom-com and make fun of it. Find a hobby. Start lifting weights until your muscles ache, so the other pain is drowned out. The goal is ANYTHING. Don't bottle it up. It'll just… fester. (Ugh, like that ice cream incident. Not a good look.)
People keep telling me to "get closure." Is that even real? And if so, how?!
"Closure." It'sWander Stay Spot
